wyrdwind

jnjalving@gmail.com: Phantom Queen 1/X: Maiden Voyage

    • About
    • Bedtime Story: East of the Sun & West of the Moon
    • Hail Merry
    • Hearth Lines
    • Paintings

    Phantom Queen 1/X: Maiden Voyage

    Night Hag

    Ha ha empowerment

    is that what you call it

    lick the bars of your cage

    spittin’ bars bits on display

    Sephora clown face

    b-b-but I gowt paywd

    stand next some wimpy ass

    tenor in a t-shirt duet

    like you two the same.

    I said what I said,

    oh you keep it covered?

    Some bullshit funeral shroud,

    God or Allah who gives a fuck,

    can’t keep your house in check

    simperin’ over some big man’s book,

    deep throatin’ a cross,

    what’s that sis?

    Can’t fuckin’ hear ya.

    Gods forbid you have daughters,

    the fuck you even teach them?

    Mamas on Two-X Preppers

    stockpilin’ Plan B cause they seen

    what happen to Ukraine, cause men

    all men

    got a loaded gun in their pants

    and they can only understand

    self defense after the fact,

    think a baby is the only

    permanent consequence,

    turn your flesh into a prison,

    a desecrated temple instead of fight back,

    take it, here’s a hint if you can manage

    through your cowardice,

    takes less than two minutes

    to choke a man to death,

    go rear naked, you’re on the right track

    if his breath rattlin’ and clabberin’,

    do not permit him to beg.

    You owe your daughters that.

    Blunt Instrument

    I ask

    how far are you willin’ to go

    for that belief? Do you believe

    a woman has the right inviolate

    to live free? To stand up and expect

    pleasure from her men? Respect?

    That’s a world we don’t live in

    without violence. Full stop. Dead

    silence. Don’t make me drop stats.

    Not a country on this Earth withstands

    this kegel clench, birth rate in our hands,

    crush its fuckin’ windpipe, I’ve had enough

    of men speakin’ for several lifetimes,

    p-p-population decline,

    b-b-but I’m a good guy,

    3C maybe we’ll survive,

    bred a sea of baritones ’cause well,

    that’s what the goddess likes,

    and all they do is spout nonsense,

    puff their chests and lie,

    dinky paper-pushin’ Xys, no cap,

    he’s a tiny guy, they wrote it down

    oh wow must be civilized,

    ladies, ladies, change takes time,

    the world’s oh so scawy outside

    these lines. The-the economy,

    lil boy holdin’ his GD pee pee,

    it’s all about paper money see?

    Never mind the price.

    Chooser of the Slain

    Here’s a bitter pill,

    or better here’s a pie,

    sweet yew berries sans seeds,

    spit the arils all spittoon ping,

    most the people in prison

    shouldn’t be there, ping,

    prisons are little better, barely more

    than concentration camps, isolation

    and social death are forms of torture,

    and then of course the slave labor,

    m-m-made in America,

    ping,

    they never serve the people,

    only the parasites in power, ping,

    gonna need more than black walnut,

    more than wormwood hun, be shittin’

    your whole intestines into that pot,

    justice is never somethin’ you outsource,

    want a man gone from sight forever?

    That decision’s yours if you got guts

    enough to swallow. That’s the flavor

    of a big girl. They know well enough

    what a woman is when they wanna rape one,

    they’ll string your corpse up on the off chance

    it’s a son,

    brain dead or mentally impaired matters not,

    they’ll get you with child while droolin’ bed bound,

    man drugs his wife and lets the whole town

    in on the fun, top bottom rich to poor,

    even the ones declined didn’t try

    to make it stop.

    If you slit all their throats right now,

    bled ’em dry just because,

    that’s a net positive, world peace,

    look me in the fuckin’ eyes

    and deny, tell me I’m wrong.

    Those men shoved women and girls down

    to evacuate Afghanistan,

    oh they know all about sloppy pull out,

    girls committin’ suicide on video

    ’cause they’ve lost all hope,

    only light left in their sweet eyes

    at the end of tunnel, fuck all you Abrahamics,

    and bitch I ain’t Catholic

    so miss me with that guilt trip, I’m captain

    of the fuckin’ ghost ship, welcome

    to your final destination, men’s dread

    my favorite lubricant,

    ugly ass billy goat backbirths

    sayin’ girls can’t go to school or leave the house,

    dumpin’ ’em in unmarked graves, just ditches,

    honor killins,

    ravagin’ child brides c-c-cause Pwophet Muhhamed,

    throwin’ acid on her face ’cause she showed it,

    buncha coulda-shoulda-been abortions,

    ladies, ladies, it’s not too late,

    I’m pro-choice at any stage,

    if there’s really a paradise full o’ virgins

    I hope it’s all men, eternal torment,

    human centipede sick, go gag

    and take it up the ass ’til you’re splattered carbon,

    I hope it feels like razor blades both ends,

    point is point is,

    don’t you ever just

    wanna go ape shit?

    If he ask ’bout that ditch he up against,

    tell him your mama said.

    No Uncertain Terms

    Gosh you might’ve guessed,

    I don’t do passive aggression,

    here’s the line toe it or else,

    ain’t do this shit for my health,

    ain’t needlessly direct it’s about

    honor, chivalry, my position is

    so you know where to stand,

    I’ll announce the once to be fair,

    you were warned.

    Ladies he’s doin’ it on purpose,

    he wouldn’t do it to another man,

    wouldn’t do it to bear, stop talkin’,

    walkin’ yo fool ass in pigeon circles

    chasin’ crumbs of communication

    meet him in the middle nah bitch

    that’s where traffic is, only pea brains

    and class traitors chase dick.

    That castle weren’t built on love,

    that’s all leverage and bondage,

    that’s right I kinkshame, who benefits

    when men ejaculate to pain? Submission?

    Don’t fool yourself,

    dominatrix ain’t flipped script,

    mind those fuckin’ neural paths,

    if he don’t like the way your pussy smell,

    he don’t like sex,

    thinks she ain’t got hair, thinks

    to stick it in before you’re drippin‘ wet,

    sweatin’ yo foundation with a bald cat,

    fixin’ get a yeast infection that’s assumin’

    he even bothers to pet that.

    Don’t take him to mount

    if he don’t got a lick o’ sense

    about his mouth an’ hands,

    if you gotta sit there teach him

    get trainin’ wheels an’ a bib,

    man can’t suck a crawdad

    don’t even know what butter is

    asks you where the seasonins

    don’t know a fuck thing ’bout the kitchen

    in the house you both live in.

    Shout Out Circe

    Now, I don’t hate men

    all evidence the contrary,

    what I despise is weakness

    masqueradin’ as strength,

    an’ they playin’ big mans on the holodeck

    while women get arthritis in they hips an’ backs

    all fap fap fap while fuck ass agent orange

    shits himself on live broadcast. Don’t worry,

    we won’t escalate, we’ll record diligently

    as they drag our neighbors away, execute

    civilians in broad daylight, how unserious

    that ice, learned nothin’ off George Floyd

    who cried out for his mama

    right before he died. How many more

    beyond your line of sight? Keep sayin’ guys

    let’s do this right, N-N-Nuremberg trials,

    bitch where the rest them Nazis go?

    They saw us and took notes.

    Police don’t arrest their own.

    They’re all just pigs playin’ dress up,

    turned it all into a swamp, a basement,

    an’ you got your tits out servin’ hot pockets,

    bendin’ over turnin’ cheeks, put ’em over the knee,

    wield the only language they speak, ain’t respect,

    I told you mind the fuckin’ leverage, the number one

    goal of every virus

    is reproduction.

    Kingmaker

    Ever notice how they always

    want you hold their guns?

    Like please ma’am this my young son

    AR Custom, alterations highly illegal,

    if you could just put a few rhymes,

    welcome him to the family,

    don’t ask how I somehow always

    end up with a whole ass armory,

    didn’t drop a cent my own money,

    thing ’bout AZ love or hate,

    we got castle doctrine on steroids,

    these parts stand your ground means

    you under no obligation to deescalate,

    invasion of public or private space

    means shoot first questions later,

    prison? Jail? Nah, jury of your peers,

    been firearms on every kitchen table

    I ever been served at, see my dilemma,

    for all I prefer songbirds and love

    Mr. Bang Bang’s here make certain

    this stays a friendly conversation

    between friends, full disclosure, ain’t subtle,

    and men well, they’re excitable creatures

    and all they really really want

    is a woman rile ’em up and point ’em

    in a direction, girl,

    if he was gonna pick some strings instead,

    hit those husky notes gets you rabid in bed,

    woulda done by now, field’s just ’bout barren,

    so if you any kinda woman grown

    mean to do a thing about our lot, this monocrop,

    you gotta saddle up, gods ain’t dealt

    a mild mannered pack mule, that’s a warhorse,

    thick thighs ride the chaos, mean business, a king

    is just the man whose face you sit on.

    February 22, 2026
    Borrowing Your Ma For A Sec, Choctaw Yeehaw, Choose Your Fighter, For Her Pleasure, Hooked On Chthonics, I’ll Put Her Back Where She Belongs, If You Can’t Pull Neolithic You Ain’t Shit, Is It Not Sunday, Mainlining The Morrigan, rap-ish, The Old Ways, Woman Life Freedom

    • About
    • Bedtime Story: East of the Sun & West of the Moon
    • Hail Merry
    • Hearth Lines
    • Paintings

    To the Tune of She Moved Through the Fair by Padraic Colum

    My love said to me

    We’re two of a kind

    And me mother did frighten

    What shade caught my eye

    Then he bolt awake from me

    Walked some proper way

    It will not be long love

    Till our wedding day

    .

    He flew away from me

    And his song filled the air

    And fondly I watched him

    Flit here and flit there

    And he scant could remember

    His wings were a pair

    Lost all sense of direction

    In the city glare

    .

    The people were saying

    He drew blood in his bed

    Burst bright plumes of she-down

    Twixt thorns of his nest

    And he wept when he saw me

    Night fell factory to field

    .

    And that was the last

    That they saw of my dear

    .

    One cold morning

    Thick leaves o’er a den

    So softly he entered

    Tucked close to my breast

    He slept fast my heartbeat

    Assured of his place

    It will not be long love

    Till our wedding day

    .

    @~^~

    Woke with this song randomly rattling about my skull. Alas, when I try to sing such things the lyrics are suddenly sinister. What’s meant to be wistful becomes menacing, longing becomes a direct demand. I guess that’s what happens when you spend your life filing your thoughts into prison shivs and don’t have the option of turning off your hoodrat subwoofer. So I leaned in.

    Anyway, a while back the kids were learning music and my favorite godchild told me I sounded like forest protector Maleficent as a dragon. Except my husband is like…a tiny songbird that eats meat and acts all crazy and nobody understands him until I show up and suddenly it’s Game of Thrones. Kids say the darndest things. Turns out there is in fact a songbird that eats meat.

    How did I roll all this shit together this morning? Read a piece about medieval noblewomen and their passion for falconry, and how they created and maintained parks and hunting grounds. So of course I got to thinking about the sexual dimorphism among birds of prey. Environmental degradation, the agency of women, etc etc etc.

    February 15, 2026
    folk, Ireland, lyrics, Podraic Colum

    • About
    • Bedtime Story: East of the Sun & West of the Moon
    • Hail Merry
    • Hearth Lines
    • Paintings

    1K1N: A Bridge This

    We know her myth,

    the mystery and magic,

    a master of her craft lost

    to the sands.

    There once was a sultan

    who returned early from a trip

    and found the love of his life

    in bed with just about

    everyone but him.

    He became a tyrant,

    blew through all the women

    in his kingdom. People fled.

    His trusted vizier at wit’s end.

    That vizier’s eldest daughter

    came to him and said,

    send me. I will wed the sultan.

    Oh absolutely not, none so precious

    as your beautiful head. No tomes

    you haven’t read, my most eloquent,

    wise and well-bred. Send me,

    she said, I’ll have this sultan

    in hand.

    Scheherazade

    spun tale after tale

    at the sultan’s bedside,

    every night so enraptured

    he could scarcely close his eyes.

    She pulled from four corners, the entire

    sphere of her knowledge and worked

    so many subtly attuned threads

    he thought her will his own mind.

    Stories within stories within stories,

    songs and poetry, worlds so real,

    so intricate that if he could just

    reach into them

    he could believe in love again.

    And he couldn’t be anything

    but married by the end.

    One such thread

    the tale of Taj Al-Muluk

    and the Princess Dunya.

    He was a most adored prince,

    ripened loins on both men and women

    but to look upon him, exquisite manners,

    a single glance worth a thousand sighs,

    son of the Green Country, a kingdom

    most wealthy. Low and high born,

    young and old waxed poetic alike.

    The very lyrics of desire sprung

    from vile water.

    You get the point.

    Everything was good. Great. Alright.

    Sumptuously dressed, silks richly dyed, pampered

    apple of his father’s eye, driven to ride

    further and further afield in spite

    with his adoring men. Cast nets at lilting gazelles

    through rolling savanna, medjool citrus oasis,

    they spied vibrant merchants’ tents

    and Al-Muluk paid them a visit

    to ask the meaning of this.

    What he certainly did not expect

    was the most forlorn man he’d ever met,

    resignedly presenting his collections

    between swooning ghazal fits,

    weeping over a handkerchief.

    He implored of this Aziz,

    my god man what has befallen thee,

    and what is that kerchief, show it me.

    If it is within my power, I will do anything

    to relieve your pain.

    What followed was the story

    of a man who lost it all,

    up to and including his cock,

    because he chose to gorge and not eat,

    bewitched by a floating handkerchief

    cast by a terrible beauty

    who was not the woman

    bound to his side.

    The kerchief all that remained

    from the ashes of his former life.

    He had made pilgrimage

    to a far off land upon revelation

    of its true maker, his calling

    as a merchant revealed,

    so that he might glimpse

    a final vision of a woman

    he could never be worthy of.

    Spied from a distance

    across a sacred garden

    she who could only be enchantment

    personified.

    Al-Muluk held this simple linen

    with a reverence, a thing so plain

    set upon with such devastating skill,

    sensitivity in every stitch,

    eye for color and detail,

    as if this Dunya wet her needle

    in the blood of his own heart. Gazelles.

    Verse. She sent other such missives abroad,

    drama wherever they fell, so others might know

    her people. Seek trade.

    Well what Al-Muluk knew

    was that it was Over.

    The golden curse

    of a life bisected, before and after,

    bit the apple of knowledge that reveals

    for you there is only One.

    Good sense, reason, distance,

    circumstance be damned. Taj Al-Muluk

    fell hopelessly in love

    with a woman he’d never set eyes upon,

    from a place he’d never heard of.

    Our golden boy likewise succumbed

    to fits of ghazal.

    United with his new best friend

    in predilection for mope,

    wasted and wept and sang.

    His father said my boy, my boy,

    good god why? Whatever is the matter?

    How you’ve let yourself go.

    You’ll give your mother

    cardiac arrest.

    Father I am in love

    and I hardly know her, would that I

    had even a face to make moan my passion,

    press my suit, but no. Princess Dunya

    of the Camphor Isles. How can I go on?

    If the king grumbled of youth,

    Al-Muluk heard not. His father promised

    he would inquire after her hand.

    Joy leapt in his throat.

    It did not go well.

    Dunya had a mind of her own,

    the will to forge her own path, swore

    should her father force marriage,

    he who she wed she would kill.

    To her reckoning

    all men were brutes, scoundrels, and cowards.

    Unworthy

    of trust, strangers

    to love.

    As the fruit of a child bride his own self,

    the prince couldn’t pretend she was totally wrong.

    The king read Al-Muluk’s abject despair

    and said son you could have a bride

    from anywhere. Beauty and breeding

    weren’t scarce. But it didn’t matter.

    It didn’t matter. There’s the rub.

    So many could simply settle down

    and well enough’s enough. Never know

    the searing arrow shaft of true love.

    None of those women

    would ever be Her.

    Could never come close.

    If he couldn’t chart a course,

    navigate the shifting sand,

    he resolved to wander without water

    into the desert and death take him.

    The presence and possibility

    of such a high caliber match rendered

    everything else mirage. Djinn smoke.

    The king said very well, we can always

    conquer her kingdom.

    Al-Muluk said no,

    he must win her by his own merits,

    as a man. Dunya’s spirit

    demanded an untraditional approach.

    He would travel abroad

    and set up shop as a merchant,

    use his skills to lure information,

    connections, oh he was certain

    that if they could just meet

    their souls would slip into place,

    hit their stride like well worn

    leather slippers. Soft tread footsteps

    on a path always been there.

    They were the same, face to face,

    exactly the same somehow. A single pair.

    Or the desert.

    Al-Muluk, Aziz, and the Vizier set out.

    The journey was of course arduous,

    every day wondered if he’d gone mad,

    mooning over a ruined eunuch’s report

    of a spear-straight back, slender waist,

    heavy hips and dark-bright eyes,

    if he could get hold of that

    he’d act all kinds of right.

    The name Dunya after all

    means the World,

    this present life

    nearest to us.

    The name Al-Muluk imagines

    a crown, pretends

    dominion.

    Well, by now we know

    which boasts superior pull. The road

    wore long and on the horizon

    a crest crystalline, some trick of light,

    thrust from the clamoring ocean,

    some heady, heaving seafoam. Love’s spoils.

    Its mess. His churning thoughts.

    They would soon reach

    their destination.

    The first thing they did

    after securing lodgings

    was hit the bathhouse and flirt

    with a dirty old man

    for the best bazaar stall,

    a prominent place.

    While the tumultuous two worked, the Vizier

    gathered up the manly gossip about town.

    Who’s who what’s what local pollen,

    jabber they get up to at a tea house,

    possessed that gift of gab.

    Skirt whirled streets, dust and grit,

    children at play,

    swags, rugs, and mosaic lamps,

    Al-Muluk cherished this time anonymous,

    just another working man. Hardly slumming it,

    but still. Honed his clever tongue

    on all manner of folk. Quite a reputation.

    The princess was jealously guarded,

    seldom seen since she came of age,

    between royal wills a stalemate.

    Some said lack of mother to blame,

    raised by maids, kept to her ladies,

    courtyards, chambers and apartments.

    Scarcity magnified intrigue.

    The prince despaired an opening.

    Then, one day an old woman hobbled by

    and they received her with customary grace,

    sat her down, fanned her sweat, offered drink,

    this granny’s lascivious eye did partake

    of this stall’s particularly fine

    wares

    and said it was a lucky young woman indeed

    who got her arms about that waist,

    and Al-Muluk never missed a chance

    to preen those masculine wiles

    his mama gave him. His father

    got what he paid for.

    As for Granny, she sought a gift

    fit for a princess.

    He had just the thing.

    She returned with a chest

    of nothing but the best

    at a shockingly good price.

    Such a deal social debt implied,

    a favor bestowed

    for what caught Dunya’s eye,

    or who might. Granny crowed delight

    at her finds, reported no finer

    wares

    in the Camphor Isles.

    Oh that merchant was no less

    than the full moon dune-glow

    to her rising sun, such a comely traveler

    would look oh so good

    kiss drunk, cheeks flush

    between the heaving sea fairy swell

    of her breasts.

    Dunya pretended shock

    at Granny’s lewdness. Bade she capture

    that favor, this merchant’s humble request.

    This old maid who nursed and raised her

    returned with a letter.

    Now Al-Muluk wasn’t stupid,

    Dunya already had her dagger drawn,

    hackles up, coming at her with a caterwaul

    all yes hello trust me I’m your soulmate

    totally not like other men

    would not be well received.

    Instead he engaged with riddling verse,

    invited further exchange,

    desperately trying to quell

    his heart’s fancy footwork,

    telling him to go whole hog,

    head to hooves apple in his mouth,

    do with him what she will.

    Restraint

    piqued her tongue, or fingers,

    thus began their dance of wits and words

    though never so clever

    as to be insincere, more

    gentle knuckles sweeping, toes weaving

    side to side

    through sheer silken veils, the art

    of the drape incense curled

    and brass pooled flame.

    A merchant must know

    how best to present

    his wares.

    When one sheet of fabric

    a breath’s flicker between them

    he asked if they might meet.

    Al-Muluk was denied

    and plunged into silence.

    Why

    was an anvil

    strapped to his chest,

    and he walked dangerously close

    to those seaside cliffs.

    Aziz and the Vizier stressed

    what they’d tell the king

    if his dear son departed this world.

    Then Granny hobbled by

    to assure that the princess Dunya

    was not made of ice, not stone,

    no trick of his mind, lifelong

    nightmares

    plagued her flight feathers,

    the recurring theme

    of two pigeons separated,

    wherein the male abandoned

    his mate.

    If he meant to persist,

    Al-Muluk must seek her

    in the solace of her private garden,

    a pleasure permitted once a month,

    the closest thing akin the taste

    of freedom. He must show

    steady hands,

    stay the course.

    And just like that

    our lovestruck prince

    was back on his bullshit.

    Merchant, that is.

    They arranged a reconnaissance mission,

    and even if all he impressed were some plants

    he wouldn’t be caught dead

    looking a mess,

    bath fresh hair did dapper pants,

    clocked the sad state

    of the courtyard’s plaster.

    He finally saw her.

    Wending thoughtful through

    everything she’d planted

    for her own amusement. Boughs

    heavy laden with fruit, blooms

    wafting humid intoxicant,

    alighting on every carefully selected

    specimen.

    Dewdrops or sweat pricked,

    the entire expanse of his skin

    so sudden,

    so sudden.

    Nerves a hummingbird’s wings.

    Whatever it took.

    Her garden was a jungle, thick

    with such intimate sustenance,

    so green as to be gore,

    and he wanted nothing else

    to pass his lips again.

    After Dunya left

    he went to see a man

    about that plaster.

    His final move

    spanned one month more.

    Al-Muluk plastered and painted

    an answering dreamscape in triptych,

    the secret side of her nightmares,

    that which was hidden from view,

    a male pigeon struck dead

    by a kite’s talons. He returned.

    He would always return.

    Stained half his clothes,

    even grew calluses. He wrought

    for Dunya a masterpiece.

    Al-Muluk waited.

    At last she beheld a mural

    whose beauty embraced her garden,

    a perfect complement. How could someone

    she’d never met

    know so well her heart’s chambers,

    as if the very bated shadow breath

    between beats?

    Dunya asked of Granny,

    who’d sent everyone else away,

    the name of this artist, his identity,

    and Granny said, your merchant is here

    if you would meet.

    Dunya’s discerning eye

    sampled heatedly his

    wares

    and duly decided, yes,

    she would be having that, yes,

    very,

    very

    suitable to her palate.

    Granny dressed Al-Muluk as a woman

    and snuck him into the palace,

    he’d run the risk of losing his head,

    both of them, so long as he first

    put them to their purpose.

    For six months hence

    Dunya put his endurance to test,

    scarcely a moment she did not

    catch and suck his lips, small nips,

    grip the curly down scalp to navel on

    of her specimen,

    hungered every inch every day,

    some act of scathing revenge

    for how long she had to wait.

    Al-Muluk served no complaint.

    Dunya would not be rotting on the vine,

    drank from her mouths both musk and wine,

    clung to her hips and thighs for dear life,

    split the night with swallowed cries,

    she was so very

    ripe.

    Granny worked double time,

    washed at the break of dawn

    Dunya’s wrecked bed sheets in the wake

    of a focused and generous lover, our pair

    writhed almost every night as serpents,

    oh their pleasures plunged

    a wide berth.

    Nothing but the best for her girl.

    Their mutual passions

    only further inflamed, steady oxygen flow,

    increased with exposure, the madness

    of a perfect match.

    God would blush. Or perhaps

    this was how

    the most High is best known crescendo

    over bass thrum. Bright star

    above the ocean.

    When Al-Muluk was not

    panting in her garden

    or nestled in her crook, some dozing dovecote

    of murmured conversation,

    he haunted the many rooms

    of her apartments. Intricate interiors,

    curiosities and books, crafts and their tools,

    cross breeze screens and windows

    carried birdsong and distant bustle, laughter,

    cast sunlit patterns

    on the beautifully loomed

    floors and walls. Velvety jewel tones.

    Ached in these spaces

    as she must have done.

    Worlds within worlds.

    He wanted more.

    Found some traveling bags

    carefully packed. His leaping heart.

    Then one night it was different,

    her nails bit his behind, hungry

    in a new way. She would have him

    spent deep between her legs.

    She was not asking.

    He expended utmost

    generosity.

    As they lie wild and sated,

    his fingers still stroking the pungent,

    dewy flush of her bud just

    to revel in how her speech caught,

    once, twice, some sweet tears, dipped

    to circle her swollen comb

    and offered the sacrament

    of their mingled mess. Accepted.

    What man done better with his flesh

    than to inspire the wanton might

    of his woman’s creation?

    If you must do a thing,

    do it right.

    Al-Muluk thought it time

    to reveal that he was not in fact

    a merchant,

    but an embarrassingly wealthy prince

    of the far off Green Country,

    and though he wouldn’t dream

    of forcing such a journey,

    demanding she leave everything behind,

    she made him want to be a man

    worthy of the responsibilities

    his accident of birth implied.

    Should he feign death

    or otherwise slip the harness

    of such status, his station,

    it would spur his father to violence

    from which he’d previously retired, and pierce

    his mother’s heart,

    and her pain he could appreciate

    all the more now. Nor would he make

    Dunya a fugitive from her own people.

    No.

    He was Taj Al-Muluk of Green Country,

    and if she would have him,

    he would make her its queen.

    Found himself

    indecent again, Dunya mounted

    without ceremony

    and said yes until his legs gave out

    and they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

    Our lovers were discovered.

    All hell broke loose.

    After six months and no word,

    his father was en route

    with their entire army. Her father

    had him thrown in jail and beat,

    thinking this merchant debauched royalty,

    did Dunya dishonor. A mongrel’s disrespect,

    however pretty.

    Several rounds of fury, explanations,

    and blood.

    Dunya pulled a knife like bitch she might

    commit regicide. Twice.

    The prince’s true identity revealed,

    intentions clear.

    Their fathers stood down.

    Al-Muluk and Dunya were married twice,

    according to respective customs, so everyone

    could celebrate, and somewhere on the road

    everyone pretended that was when

    she “lost her maidenhead”

    as was proper.

    His people adored her,

    and if Dunya’s belly

    seemed awfully swift with child,

    that was just a djinn’s coincidence.

    Their king and queen stole about their palace

    as if only recently in the throes of courtship,

    for pigeons never cease wooing their mates.

    You might say Dunya killed the man

    she wed after all,

    but not for many long years

    in each other’s arms.

    @~^~

    I took great liberties and don’t apologize. Hope it was worth the wait.

    February 8, 2026
    fairy tales, fantasy, one thousand and one nights, spring feeling, storytelling

    • About
    • Bedtime Story: East of the Sun & West of the Moon
    • Hail Merry
    • Hearth Lines
    • Paintings

    Golden Fleece 2/X: Cold Mountain

    Once was a soldier,

    if that’s what you call them,

    barely whiskered wet behind the ears,

    all the able bodied men as if any to spare,

    and this Inman did clutch to his breast

    a book given him, three letters and a tintype,

    the scripture of his woman’s words,

    never dared response but pressed on and on,

    scare looked beyond that trench, fetid gutter,

    a mass grave, another day, another bloodbath,

    some explosions, stench of gunpowder,

    boys half his age dead, someone’s son.

    He remembered

    Ada from Cold Mountain.

    “Men up here had a bearing

    on what they thought a woman was,

    and then you showed up.” Miss Sally said

    the day Ada arrived. The day they met. A welcome.

    She brought the working men cider but

    cat got his tongue, he was not

    a loquacious man. Ada asked for his name

    and he stumbled to provide it, found it ugly,

    uncouth—saying it don’t improve a thing—

    and finally upon stilted silence

    insisted he just went by his surname

    Inman.

    Neither was he born to dance,

    not possessed of fine manners

    and as we’ve established, words. He worked

    and Ada noticed. She invited.

    But he’d watch from the dark side

    of her doorway, peer into the warm and bright,

    standing in the rain

    because he was dirty and wet instead.

    When she went out that night, as it was clear

    he’d remain outside, and gently, gently pressed,

    danced around what she really wanted to ask

    like a sparrow in a birdbath, skirted

    his intentions, the looming war, her,

    “This doesn’t come out right.” Halting

    as an electrical current run through a corpse,

    “If it were enough just to stand,

    without the words.”

    “It is.” She assured.

    “It is.” But he pressed on.

    “Look at the sky now.

    What color is it? Or the way…

    a hawk flies? Or you wake up

    and your ribs are bruised

    thinking so hard on somebody.

    What do you call that?”

    It was almost a demand.

    They almost made progress

    when he snuck his requested likeness

    into the pages of some sheet music

    and spoke her daddy.

    They ran out of time.

    Just as he was set to deploy,

    if you can call it that, half dressed,

    no training, no experience, she gave

    him a book with her photograph.

    “I’m not smiling in it.

    I don’t know how to do that. Hold

    a smile.” Well he was always

    better off with his hands, pulled

    her to him in a hungry kiss

    she fully matched.

    Inman woke

    in a pus-curdled, fly-infested infirmary,

    feverish recovering

    from infection and injury. A woman in black

    at his bedside took mercy, found

    his one belonging, and opened

    a weathered letter to read

    “…So now I say to you

    plain as I can. If you are fighting,

    stop fighting.

    If you are marching,

    stop marching.

    Come back to me.”

    Meanwhile

    Ada worried what would be

    the last days beside her daddy,

    only vaguely aware of the threat

    posed by the Home Guard—

    cruel and vicious men self-charged

    with prowling about town

    “protecting” property and womenfolk

    and killing deserters.

    Her daddy getting old, a widower

    never remarried, asked his daughter

    if she still thought on her man.

    Oh every day all it made no sense

    for she hardly knew him.

    A handful of moments taking over

    her whole night sky, her mind’s eye.

    And her daddy, he said

    he had her mother all of twenty-two months

    before she passed, and that

    was more than enough.

    A lifetime full

    of little treasures. Golden sand

    in an hourglass. We love who we love

    and love makes the tiniest glance precious.

    It don’t have to make sense to be so blessed.

    No regrets.

    He read and tinkered with sermons

    at their dining table nestled

    on the lawn beneath a fine, strong tree

    with long arms overlooking the forest,

    a swooping mountain vista,

    and though Ada fretted an oncoming storm

    he waved her off and asked if she might

    go inside and play the piano

    by the open window. The day so beautiful,

    would be a shame to miss a moment of it.

    Ada’s daddy died.

    Inman’s mid-odyssey about face

    got off to a bad start.

    War was already lost

    but that didn’t deter the Home Guard

    and their hunting hounds.

    Maggoty corn and murdered slave families,

    a corrupt rapist preacher he made certain

    paid for his decadent ways. Got as far

    as a filthy brothel in sordid company,

    ends and means, before he was drugged

    and clapped in chains,

    betrayed.

    Then came some Yanks.

    They all took the chance.

    Everyone got shot in the back,

    but Inman survived. Still chained.

    Collapsed.

    At Cold Mountain,

    a growing wall of fallen sons, tiny pictures

    and rustic trinkets, and Ada mussed

    and beholden to the kindness

    of the other women. That greedy old bastard

    head of the Home Guard

    wouldn’t let her rest or mourn. Sniffing

    after her hand. Her good land. Said in church

    her man wouldn’t return. Said look at him.

    He wasn’t nothing. Ugly ass.

    Miss Sally took her in, had been

    leaving all manner of baskets, heartsick

    for the farm’s disrepair.

    Ada had long freed the slaves.

    At dinner with her dear friend,

    Sally’s husband suddenly said

    Ada should take a mirror

    and look over her shoulder

    into their well water. Her future,

    her heart’s desire may be revealed.

    His wife did it all the time—abruptly hushed.

    Well Ada

    in its slippery reflection a second sight,

    glimpsed the shadowy form of a man

    in the snow, heralded by a flurry of crows.

    Then he was gone.

    Inman woke on a twisted branch sled

    or some such, being drug into the forest

    by an old hermit woman.

    Deep emerald foliage, civilization distant

    as if it never was, a covered wagon,

    a dispersed herd of small goats. Strung herbs.

    A cookfire. Made to rise, said he had to go,

    but goat woman scoffed. Gruffly replied

    he had to heal first.

    Inman warned he was a deserter

    and she scoffed again because

    what would they do?

    Cut short her young life?

    His wounds begged attention,

    his belly a meal, and his fragmented

    mind a proper rest. All his fussing in bed,

    she pestled up some laudanum, potent

    poppy tincture home brew. As it took hold

    Inman devolved into some wilderness,

    rambled half agony half prayer a woman’s name

    implicit, the woman

    he was returning to. Compelled, driven

    by some force.

    “…And I hardly know her.

    I hardly know her! And I just

    can’t seem

    to get back to her.” Slept at last.

    Had somewhat more his wits come morn.

    Inman watched mutely as a white goat

    ambled calmly up to the old woman,

    a child’s face.

    She lectured

    everything in nature has a job.

    Bird’s got a job, seed’s got a job,

    shit’s got a job. A forest grows.

    A goat

    gives you milk, cheese, company,

    and when necessary,

    meat.

    She slit it’s throat,

    it went peacefully, she still

    hushed and praised its sacrifice.

    There there. You were such a beauty.

    Such a beauty.

    Meanwhile Miss Sally sent for help.

    One morning at the mercy

    of an aggressive rooster, real cock of the walk,

    and his uppity spurs

    Ada received a visitor.

    Ruby Thewes an illiterate farm girl—

    a young woman, proud country bumpkin—

    marched right up and ripped off the rooster’s head

    with her bare hands. Only good rooster

    was a dead rooster. Fuck that guy.

    She brought a gun. Some other stuff.

    Said she didn’t believe in money.

    Came there to work, but not as a servant.

    Expected to room and board, eat at the table,

    be shown respect. Ada would learn

    alongside and work as well.

    Ada took no offense.

    She was just glad.

    Their hard labors turned it all around,

    better than expected, way you yoke

    a skittish or inexperienced horse

    to a sturdy or confident one and arrive

    at your destination twice as fast.

    Ruby learned to read

    and Ada learned to wear pants.

    Scoundrel Daddy Thewes even came back

    from the supposed dead and didn’t ask

    for forgiveness, just if they could spare a coat

    for his simple friend, his bandmate.

    See he’d given up drink

    when he took up the strings. Never knew

    he had it in him until the war, but the place

    he’s filled with song, well it’s all

    about his daughter now. When he plays

    he’s thinking on her, everything he wrote.

    She was always

    a good girl.

    Ruby Thewes thawed

    just a little.

    Inman stumbled upon a cabin,

    desperate for shelter in the rain

    and inside a young widow who bade him

    enter

    from the other side of a gun.

    See when it comes to war

    it don’t matter what side

    a man claims he’s on

    if you’re a woman alone. Whatever she had

    to spare was fair enough. He wouldn’t push.

    She said she had to believe

    he meant her no harm. Would ask for no more.

    Her fevered baby fussed.

    She dressed him

    in her late husband’s dry clothes, neither man

    physically imposing, much presence,

    straight up and down.

    Shadows and bones.

    After unrestful repose, toss and turn,

    she asked him in off the pile of cobs.

    Asked if he could just lie beside her

    and expect no more. Take it no further.

    There in the dark,

    Inman stiff as a board, alarmed

    when her fingers laced his own. Declared,

    rasped as if wind through hollow trunk,

    “I love someone.”

    But all she did was weep. Broken. Alone.

    He listened.

    Dawn brought little comfort.

    A troop of Yanks turned up

    fixing to steal what little she had,

    pull down their pants

    for a bit of gang rape. Of course.

    Inman did what he did best, silent

    as a wraith. A wisp. Blink and you’ll miss.

    He was not

    an imposing man.

    There was no rape that day. That captain

    bled out upon his prey, dead between her legs.

    His friends soon followed.

    Ada’s foul suitor

    and his cohorts came down on poor Sally.

    Tied a noose around her neck, crushed her hands

    in the fence and made her watch

    as they murdered her husband, hung him

    from her clothesline, and shot both her sons

    whom she’d his in their barn.

    She went mute.

    The girls ran over too late,

    brought Sally to Black Cove to recover,

    if you can call it that,

    and though she never spoke again

    she smiled when that fugitive bumpkin band

    made merry tunes on Sundays

    there on the homestead.

    A candle’s trembling breadth of happiness.

    Ruby and the youngest musician

    called Georgia for where he’d from,

    well they took interest in each other.

    Then, one day they slipped up,

    didn’t leave soon enough, steal away

    before the diamond dust, and left

    tracks in the snow.

    The Home Guard shared their fire

    and their song while the youngest

    was off vomiting

    from eating an old frozen doe.

    Made Daddy Thewes and his simple friend

    stand with their hats off, told the idiot

    to stop smiling, but he couldn’t,

    it was just his way. So they made

    him hold his hat over his face.

    Ada and Ruby went up the mountain

    to grieve their freshly dead. In reality

    they hid Daddy Thewes who yet breathed

    and there his wounds did tend.

    Ruby sent Ada on a hunt

    and she came back with a wild turkey

    and Inman. Met again

    at the business end of her rifle.

    Ruby sussed the situation,

    all fine boned and pale eyed, the man

    she knew only as Ada’s one way

    message recipient.

    Said she ought to send Ada

    into the woods with a gun more often.

    They settled into the hunter’s camp,

    a cluster of rickety shelters about a cookfire.

    Inman sussed the situation,

    and let Ruby know he wasn’t looking

    to usurp anybody’s position at Black Cove,

    reckoned he needed to ask her permission first.

    She noted his pig’s ear attempt

    at making himself presentable. Took the knife

    and drew it along his long pale throat

    and saw to that feral billy goat, swatted

    at him when he turned his head to look,

    huffed, then after a pause while she worked,

    “You got the right feelings for her?”

    Knife. Throat.

    “I do.” Not a man to mince words.

    Night fell and Ruby retired early. Of course.

    Ada and Inman shuffled and glanced,

    made eyes at each other all filly and colt.

    She asked

    if he received all her letters,

    must’ve been one hundred plus,

    asked why he didn’t respond if so.

    She’d been talking to him

    this entire time, inside her mind, despite

    the foolishness. They hardly knew each other.

    Understood if it was too much. She was too much.

    He don’t give a girl much to go on.

    At her uncertainty Inman spoke up, said

    that all those little moments they shared

    were like a bag of tiny diamonds,

    that it didn’t matter if they were real.

    They were all he had.

    “If you could see my inside,

    my spirit?

    That’s what I fear.

    I think I’m ruined.

    They kept trying to put me in the ground.

    But I wasn’t ready.

    But if I had goodness, I lost it.

    If I had anything tender in me

    I shot it dead.

    How could I write to you

    after what I done?

    What I seen?”

    Ruby took the opportunity

    to briefly intervene, this boy was spiraling,

    said she’d have to go someplace else

    to get some shut eye. If they must continue,

    do it inside.

    So there they were in the low lamplight,

    miles and miles of ache between them,

    Inman wary as if

    he couldn’t dare to know Her will.

    Pulse kicked breath blossomed in the cold.

    Ada’s every heartbeat

    calling her revenant home, unwilling

    to wait one moment more.

    She said her preacher daddy

    would understand how such frivolity

    as a wedding seemed pointless now.

    Inman struggled to convey his full intention,

    the fact he didn’t come all that way

    to mess around.

    Ada nervously recalled a religion

    where the only thing required

    of man and wife

    is to say it three times aloud.

    Well that’s three words

    he could manage dire earnest,

    “I marry you.

    I marry you.

    I marry you,”

    for that had always

    been his undercurrent.

    She sprung upon him

    in amorous reassurance, echoed

    profusion of his sentiment. Two rivers

    entwined. He rushed

    to give her the best piece

    to remember him by,

    and that part

    understood his job well enough,

    oh he got that right.

    The next day

    brought the final fight.

    That Home Guard sought to further

    terrorize.

    But this time

    with the end in sight

    and blood run high, none

    of those men would leave alive.

    Gun smoke in stark sunlight. Rapid fire.

    Inman rode hard

    in pursuit of the last man, up the mountain

    into the forest. A pale and vicious youth.

    They both fired a single shot.

    Ada heard the crows.

    She knew.

    Her one true love bled

    out into the snow in her arms.

    He was beautiful.

    And years down the road,

    she still spoke to him

    if only in her head, every day.

    Said this time of year

    when the lambs newborn

    and the ewes rich with milk,

    when spring wakes upon the winter down,

    and there is so much life, for a moment

    she doesn’t hurt. She looks into that well

    and the sky is just blue.

    Beneath her great oak tree

    at Black Cove, she sets a table

    as her daughter Grace Inman

    sneaks treats into her mouth.

    Ruby and Georgia, baby in tow,

    Miss Sally and Daddy Thewes gather round,

    Ada says if you could see it all now

    you would know

    that every step of your journey

    was worth it.

    @~^~

    Cold Mountain (2003). Entire soundtrack, though You Will Be My Ain True Love is my favorite. I actually left quite a bit out for the sake of brevity, some threads I consider instrumental to the spirit of this film. It definitely rearranged some things inside me when I was fourteen for reasons I’m sure are immediately obvious.

    February 1, 2026
    Imbolc, storytelling

    • About
    • Bedtime Story: East of the Sun & West of the Moon
    • Hail Merry
    • Hearth Lines
    • Paintings

    Small Bedtime Story

    Brightly Burning

    The Aesir waged a brutal war

    against the elder, peaceful Vanir.

    They who espoused such supposed

    virtues as power, knowledge, law and order,

    thought to exert their will upon “undeveloped” land,

    their force and appetites excessive, coercive.

    And though the Great Lady wove terrifying battle magics,

    the like never seen before or since,

    their adversaries stole her elusive mate,

    the beloved Odr. His name

    our only remaining clue to his significance,

    meaning divine madness, passion,

    and poetic inspiration. Spirited away.

    His disappearance broke her heart.

    So the two tribes of gods cut losses

    and exchanged hostages,

    Freyja and her twin among them.

    One pantheon.

    She took a “husband,”

    though retained her own hall

    equal in splendor, and claimed half the dead.

    It is said

    where she wept, her tears turned gold or amber

    upon earth or water as they fell. She never

    gave up her search. No matter

    how long or how far

    she would find him.

    Seer. Shapeshifter. Mistress of Magic.

    Chieftain of the Valkyries.

    By all accounts an exquisite beauty.

    Known for inducing

    fertility, lust, obsession and love. Rode a boar

    into battle and a chariot pulled by enormous cats

    when at leisure, a bashful gift from half-giant Thor.

    If she didn’t just take flight as a falcon herself.

    Below

    the Dwarves or Dark Elves

    had evolved from the maggots

    which hollowed out Ymir’s corpse,

    developed humanoid form, their skin pure

    obsidian. Would turn to stone

    if exposed to sunlight. Their kingdom

    no less great. There was plenty to do,

    inner workings to maintain. Other

    kinds of bright.

    She traversed the realms nine, bided her time,

    and did descend to admire their civilization

    at its height.

    Seamlessly carved stone, luminous ceramics,

    metals wrought and cast crescendo

    throughout their intricately tiled subterranean network.

    They could emerge anywhere in the world

    and relay messages in an instant.

    Souls may depart, but bodies were their sacred domain,

    transmuting that which upworlders regarded waste.

    Freyja met with their four finest craftsmen in secret,

    the greatest masters to ever live,

    who had produced

    their pinnacle achievement as a race.

    The Brisingamen.

    A necklace that contained

    the primordial radiance of creation

    in its fiery gems.

    Deeply forbidden magic.

    She offered gold and silver as a matter of course,

    riches beyond their wildest dreams, infinite bounty,

    but these four masters declined.

    Only one thing could be so precious

    as to persuade them to part

    with their proud people’s masterpiece.

    The pleasure of her company

    with each of them individually,

    one night apiece.

    A woman’s reputation precedes.

    How her true love got his name

    in the first place.

    So these four came to know

    the ecstasy of the unmade

    reborn each dawn, took the knowledge

    to their graves,

    spared no effort

    to bear her waves, to lap them, saliva slicked

    as earthworms taste through their skin. Pulsating

    nerve ends.

    Only one person

    walked out of those bedchambers

    and clean-up was a nightmare.

    Freyja got what she came for.

    The Aesir were furious.

    Claimed her an unfaithful whore,

    debated the diplomatic incident,

    and it mattered not because

    no one could deny her now.

    Her necklace made the wearer

    irresistible, not even gods

    were immune to its pull. Imbued

    luck upon any in her favor by default,

    whipped fertility into lurid fervor,

    swarms, swaths driven to mating frenzy,

    toxic blooms, bloody conflicts

    propelled by senseless greed and glut—

    perhaps over a magical earthblood black—

    too many fires for the Aesir to address.

    They simply didn’t have what it took.

    Their taste for war soured in their mouths,

    and when Freyja whose tongue

    was honeyed golden hypnotic

    inquired as to the whereabouts, any last known

    location of her lost love,

    not god nor creature nor mortal

    in all the nine realms

    could withhold their knowledge.

    Banished to the borders,

    at the end of place and time itself,

    Freyja found her love again.

    Odr had become

    an enormous sea serpent, a dragon.

    This was her man.

    Just as beautiful as the day they met.

    Oh he still remembered, no necklace required,

    his flesh would always know her. He fretted not

    her wake of beds and bodies,

    for in order to reunite

    she first had to survive.

    And she fretted not this new girth, terrible length,

    for there was no shape she knew not

    the pleasure of.

    They began. From there until the body

    of a man once more, Freyja’s devotion

    did inform until the wild architecture of ardor,

    their golden genome,

    broke the curse.

    She brought him home.

    False-husband Tyr had learned

    in her absence the hard way,

    the weakness of rigidity, heavy handed

    interference, how order, law, and justice

    would amount to nothing but destruction

    without a woman’s freely given love.

    Finally, these foolish young gods

    were ready to listen

    instead of talk.

    There is no King in Asgard.

    There is the Lady of the House

    and her beloved Wanderer,

    and never let it be said

    I don’t give credit where it’s due:

    a whimsical, sensual stranger, God

    of the dead, first gasp as a babe, breath itself,

    poetry of spirit, swift-rhymed and riddle-tongued,

    the cries of a lover well served, the voice

    of your ancestors long passed, oh you do not ask

    this tricksy coot for straight answers,

    the original fairy godfather,

    and fuck if his is the only gibberish

    gets her quiverin’, has what it takes

    to entertain a Magic woman. The Goddess Herself.

    You’ll be takin’ some lumps he turns up to help,

    like ah shit here we go again, he speaks

    binding words, favors the homeless,

    outcasts and shamans, vagrants to kings,

    kings to robbers, wants to see how far you’ll go,

    and last he’s

    perch of the ravens Thought and Memory,

    indeed this is how Odin got his name—

    the Real Him. You’ll know now

    when he’s being conflated

    with unseated Tyr, as seen in the word

    tyrant if ill-dignified.

    Freyja instilled the art

    of peace-weaving, frith, the custom

    of kittens gifted to every bride

    as both mousers and affectionate ambassadors,

    kindlers of the hearth. These new heathen

    women managed resources and were permitted

    to throw any scoundrel out, even cut off his cock

    should such a thing

    inflict sufficient grievance, seek to rise

    above its station.

    Put simply, Freyja shows us

    the purpose of life is pleasure, abundance,

    as the heady rush

    of her dizzy party-boy Odin

    who always delivers in bed and grants

    the heart’s tenderest wishes

    to those worthy. Their poetry sufficient.

    Her colors are fire, blood, and gold because

    women are your wealth. Change your luck. And joy,

    true love,

    is precious beyond measure.

    Your only win condition.

    January 25, 2026
    general heathenry, myth study, Norse mythology, storytelling

    • About
    • Bedtime Story: East of the Sun & West of the Moon
    • Hail Merry
    • Hearth Lines
    • Paintings

    Practical Magic

    Placenta

    Fetal microchimerism

    describes an intricate symbiosis,

    a lacework dance between an infant

    and her mother’s subconscious.

    She can dispatch stem cell first responders

    to repair damaged organs, regulate hormones,

    fight diseases and signal nutrient deficiency

    through cravings.

    These cells can remain

    for decades, addressing what should be

    compatible needs. My mother

    felt no pain, not even during labor,

    suffered no discomfort beyond

    voracious hunger, ate every two hours.

    Awash

    in sustained euphoria. All the trauma

    some distant shore another life ago. The happiest

    she’d ever been.

    Then I was gone.

    The shock

    to her system bore

    a somber resemblance

    to opiate withdrawal.

    I’ve mentioned of course, but

    there are moments when you approach

    the web of wyrd and trace the thread

    pertaining your purpose in the world.

    My Mother wasn’t Home.

    Flow State

    This landscape

    was a foreign body

    and I had no choice but to create

    an estuary, multiple thought streams,

    a constant imagining. Raw edge tumbling,

    plasma abscess of reckoning. Nacre laved

    bitter black grains, glass sharp sea of sand.

    Endogenous opioids—endorphins—

    a golden and sustained vibrato,

    are just a story you tell yourself

    about yourself. What even is this hurt?

    How odd. How quaint. How

    novel. Take it from the top, push

    some notes around. Without

    those subharmonics and big drums

    the song’s just hollow. Empty calories, no

    meat to those bones. Keep the count,

    if no one hears it, say what you love

    until it’s metronome, announce

    appreciation, punctuate until

    it’s all stars. Just stars and stars.

    The flock of Isis, a herd of cows,

    you know aspiring mothers tattooed her spread

    across their lower backs for protection.

    Safe voyage.

    I dreamt

    once that I soared across a desert wasteland

    as a great vulture alongside my mentor and found

    one woman left alive buried beneath garbage,

    hiding in a tub, about to give birth.

    It filled with water as I got in, and I could hear

    everything.

    It’s like that show

    where an elf mage spends her entire life

    in a state of constant mana suppression,

    weaponizes underestimation,

    and a demon general thinks to wager

    the weight of its soul against Hers,

    a slayer of legend. Who has slaughtered

    more of its kind than any to live. Plays

    for absolute command with full confidence

    it’ll win,

    boasts the naked might

    of its 500 year cultivation

    against an opponent who specializes in minor novelties,

    such as Field of Flowers and Shaved Ice.

    A halting shudder through an undead, unrestful legion

    of fallen soldiers. Little left to identify them. A new wind.

    No contest. Confusion. Sickly dread. Before you is one

    who has lived for over a thousand.

    Kill yourself.

    Technology

    The world was dark and cold

    and the People did suffer mightily.

    Every spirit on the Council tried.

    Possum wrapped the fire

    in his bushy tail, burnt bald.

    Vulture attempted to affix flame

    to his voluminous crown,

    we know how that turned out.

    Raven dared some cinders in her craw,

    caught oxygen, singed her black,

    and made her hoarse.

    It seemed the People were doomed

    to die off.

    “I will go.”

    They looked around, startled,

    wondered which among them spoke,

    if at all.

    “I will go.”

    It was Grandmother Spider.

    “But you are very small!”

    They had never heard her speak before.

    “The Eastern Sky is dangerous,

    the Fire’s guardians jealous!”

    And she did plainly insist.

    “I will go.”

    Her journey was long,

    she carried a pot like a swallow’s gourd.

    Those guardians didn’t sense her approach.

    When she returned,

    her vessel contained a single spark.

    “But how will that keep the People warm?”

    She duly demonstrated, this tiny magician,

    the secret of the fire’s house, which she had observed.

    They would have never thought.

    And so the wheel of time turned on,

    and every time the world grew dark

    and the People nearly forgot,

    Grandmother Spider spoke up.

    Earthenware, baskets, rugs, cloth,

    the care and cultivation of crops.

    Anywhere and everywhere

    alone in a room burning midnight oil,

    the long taper, where one might question

    if any strength remained to give,

    she flexed her unseen silk. Guest

    in every home

    welcome or not.

    Then, the People faced a cruel dawn. Total

    annihilation. Suffocation

    of all life as they knew it

    as the atmosphere siphoned off

    into oblivion.

    Or so they thought.

    Grandmother Spider said

    “This way. Leave these caves,

    come outside and look up.”

    The People followed

    through a hole she made, her shadow abode.

    She brought them over

    a churning sea of fire and molten rock

    and the People emerged

    from the womb of Hollow Earth,

    oh they never realized

    their existence subterranean.

    Above

    a cradle sky wide open,

    and the People did behold an endless

    deep of tethered bonfire sparks and shaken dew,

    saw the patterns of Grandmother Spider’s great design.

    Echoes and reverb. Movements rhythmic, synchronous.

    Cause and effect. A cool, lush mist

    upon thick silver-tailed grass.

    The Council said,

    “We’re glad you could finally join us!”

    And Grandmother Spider taught them all

    how a tapestry of humble and deliberate acts

    holds the Earth to Heaven,

    binds the entire universe, gives it shape,

    and should we the People face our end,

    Grandmother Spider will speak again.

    No Filter

    I’m certain psychologists

    have some fancy terms for this.

    Some poorly understood suspect variables,

    clinical interest.

    I’ve observed

    that a highly creative mind

    with inexhaustible energy

    and an apex predator’s focus

    does NOT respond well

    to tedium. Insufficient stimulus.

    Empty pursuits. Which in this world means

    nearly all of them.

    You call this reality,

    what is it?

    How can this be what you accept?

    I think not. One of us has to go,

    you or me.

    Perhaps there’s a continuum of sorts

    between divine inspiration and funny business.

    I refuse disintegration, assimilation.

    Neuroplasticity Monkey D Luffy ass bitch,

    I’ll come at you from any and every direction,

    run all you want but I’m making connections,

    I’ll beat you bloody or we’ll be best friends

    on the ocean. Call me Captain,

    I don’t make the rules that’s just

    the hat that fits. Bodied

    that Fruit now erryone gon’ see some shit,

    and people ask

    why Alaska. Girl what the fuck.

    You work at a water and health food store??

    Before that, fabric and crafts?? Above table that is.

    Grew up in a desert? What??

    Well first of all,

    Her flag is the best. Blue

    because water, mountain, and sky.

    Gold because Gold.

    Ursa Major because Big Strong Bears.

    The North Star.

    State flower is forget-me-not,

    a symbol of true love and those precious

    separated by distance or death.

    Much like what they inflicted upon the indigenous

    before they called Her the Last Frontier.

    The fact remains, She is a stronghold

    of ice, minerals, water, flora and megafauna for now,

    rises via vulcan activity at a pace outstripping

    the sea level at worst possible projection.

    You’re limited by skill and guts,

    not by what zoning laws allow.

    In summer, when the sun lingers long, the evenings

    merely a slow, blushy blink,

    crops continuously photosynthesize, attain surreal size,

    and as you accustom

    to intermittent seismic tremors it’s easy to wonder

    if there really are giants. Not to mention

    the coastal temperate rainforest under threat,

    a biome covering less than 1% of the Earth’s surface.

    People been sleepin’ on Her long enough, bet.

    My agent drove by my spot and caught with a drone

    a sky unrecognizable

    to any night I’ve ever known. Glimmering amethyst,

    violet, indigo and royal. Rich as diamond studded velvet.

    Sea and sparkling snow.

    Mama moose and two calves.

    So yeah. I’m about to go

    full wool long johns goose down rabbit fur

    triangle shawl babushka sausage

    with a crossbow and a chainsaw.

    Maybe a dog.

    Fuck off.

    Atropos

    Now I’ve mentioned this before,

    the human subconscious is the most

    powerful supercomputer on Earth

    by an overwhelming order of magnitude.

    Dreams are risk assessment simulations,

    models of abstract concepts, skill attunement.

    They drastically reduce reaction times

    and produce novel solutions

    if you humor them.

    Speak their language.

    Instinct

    is otherwise known

    as thin-slicing, the honed ability

    to make shockingly accurate snap judgments,

    split-second calibrations,

    and react without thinking, freeing

    the prefrontal cortex for other tasks.

    Even while awake,

    visualizing a task in your mind’s eye

    engages the same neural pathways

    as actually performing it, the practice

    of mind-body connection.

    Reinforced coordination.

    Knowing how something works

    doesn’t stop it from being magic.

    It’s about intention.

    Knowing your loom. Understanding

    your project. Something

    went wrong with the weft,

    this yarn poorly spun, crude texture,

    frith in shreds, we must address

    these tatters.

    If you can,

    find a lover who pierces your heart

    blindfolded, resonance how its meant,

    the ache where your sound’s best,

    soothes your spirit in their sleep.

    Don’t rely on an appliance

    if you can’t disassemble and repair it,

    or base your diet and civilization on a crop

    if you’re a callous stranger

    to its bed and harvest,

    starve the ecosystem to grow it.

    Don’t enshrine legacy and creation

    if you aren’t the Mother or a musician. Love

    necessitates Death

    of the Ego. The ratio of sacrifice

    is 1:1. How many men would pay the price

    for all the sin they done? Stand on the shoulders of?

    Every oppression that exists

    is predicated upon the enslavement

    of the female. When choice

    is structurally impossible, independence

    not an easily accessible option,

    there is no consent. Full stop.

    There is a word

    for non-consensual intercourse,

    and it’s all most women have known

    for thousands of years.

    Oh

    those threads hurt to touch. The warp.

    Why no progress ever stuck.

    God is not

    the office of a man.

    Most hands

    can’t palpate the pattern

    if I directly point it out,

    caught up in the but but but,

    will reach for any other metaphor,

    interpretation, confirmation bias. Ignore

    the evidence of their own eyes.

    I’ve got about .04%

    of this crackhead curtain

    in my hand. Shall I,

    shall I run a systems check?

    I digress.

    As a youth I wondered

    why my voice would snag, why

    regular conversation caused such stress.

    Then one night, as a young woman,

    I dreamt

    my candlelit bedroom, standing

    in front of my mirror, staring

    at a woman who bore only a passing

    resemblance to myself. Hair up, dressed

    in fine Victorian muslin.

    We studied each other as one in silence.

    Then, she sang. Or I did.

    I felt each of my ribs, my spine, my throat,

    my blood. Ours? We touched

    the choke of her gown’s high neck,

    and I saw the rage barely restrained.

    Felt.

    I woke wielding a brand new skill. Progress

    sudden as a house spider on a fungus gnat.

    It had never suited me

    to mimic other girls. Took longer

    for my thicker, heavier mechanism

    and longer cords

    to develop. In secret. Some still place. And magic,

    that’s the realm of imagination.

    Like another mage from that show says,

    after failing an examination for official rank,

    because a man of import in a cloak woven

    of impenetrable and impervious enchantment

    challenged novices to land a single hit.

    She remembered her seamstress sister

    sliding razor sharp scissors

    smooth as butter through cloth.

    Remembered the sound.

    Her signature spell

    cut him clean through the sternum

    in an instant.

    Dead.

    Defensible Spaces

    Where there’s a forest,

    there’s mycoremediation,

    and there’s a reason

    France, America, and China

    stumbled in Vietnam.

    Strong in their jungle, guerrilla

    combat and hard defense.

    Draw your opponent out

    at natal disadvantage

    into a battle of attrition.

    Force them to overextend.

    Plants, terrain, pests and diseases.

    Sabotaged “infrastructure” and stealth.

    Quick, decisive strikes and insulated cells.

    It’s simple physics.

    The further from center you extend a limb

    the weaker it gets. The most effective

    position is Turtle. Rock. Mind your fuckin’ business.

    Obscure their line of sight. Muddy morale. There’s no such thing

    as a fair fight. Reason. They only know concrete feed lots, violence,

    religion, greed, and lies. Ah but

    I don’t mean to give you a fright.

    Mycelium, well,

    he’s more of a laid back guy,

    desiccates upon exposure to sunlight,

    his is a delicate and sensual strength,

    not immediately recognized as such,

    creepin’ and fiddlin’ all along her underside.

    That is, his giant green wife.

    Ready with swathing bands anywhere

    a corpse festers long enough, a latticework

    of secret silk cozied up to her roots, no one

    turns a mind to mush faster, makes a better chef

    for that good good mama soup. Any substance

    or poison. Heavy metals, plastics, and petroleum.

    He can become melanistic—turn black—

    and digest radiation ala Chernobyl.

    No matter the contamination, he’ll break it down. In time.

    Even his dispatched bodies or fruits pass on

    their protections. Their benefits. In return,

    she gives him sugars. He’s no fan of bein’ up top,

    comin’ out from under her skirt as it were,

    like good god good god nope. What vigor he possess,

    he nurses directly from her efforts. Her affection. I’m sayin’

    the forest floor fucks. These two are a team.

    In a sense, we humans may be considered

    their children.

    However wayward.

    She’ll see your abandoned buildings

    and monster truck right over them,

    hit manual override.

    Closer to home

    this means I grow trees and shrubs, we don’t see

    our neighbors unless we want to,

    and we’re never so inconsiderate

    as to assume we’re the only creatures

    who live here.

    There’s no form I’m not familiar with,

    and not a day will pass you don’t feel my touch.

    No matter your dress. Loss of function. Decomposition.

    It’s all just soil to me.

    I’m sure

    whatever’s goin’ on is at least 5% better

    if I’m pettin’ your belly hairs. See? Right?

    My fingers barely there across your thighs and behind.

    You’ll taste the sweeter side of this continuum

    in my arms

    and it is worth all the rest. This typoglycemia,

    so long as I’m the beginning and the end,

    I can make sense of your mess. I’ll be

    your fondly whispering sky,

    tenderly watchful eyes.

    If everything outside seems insurmountable,

    and you just don’t know where to start,

    imagine a world where you and I.

    January 18, 2026
    Biology, environment, Psychology, storytelling

    • About
    • Bedtime Story: East of the Sun & West of the Moon
    • Hail Merry
    • Hearth Lines
    • Paintings

    Lawn Care

    First Blush

    It’s the fever green sweltering

    in the wake of torrential rains, lethal flood planes,

    the savage gasp of our fleeting spring, tuft and tooth and blade,

    and She’s no soprano, that there’s a big boom, a two hand swing,

    superbloom incoming,

    a mounting riotous scream, every color conceived, fuck your allergies,

    hurry, hurry, hurry, bat, moth, bird, wasp, and bee,

    before the heat, our bone bleached dire straits,

    salted raw where an ancient sea

    evaporated. This

    is the hottest desert in the world. 54.44 degrees Celsius

    for weeks consecutive. Fifteen minutes before you stroke out.

    No one sensible lived here year round, but for now,

    it’s the open bedroom window, soft breath on willows,

    silk pillows, down duvet crinkle and wind chimes, birdsong,

    moody mountains—an unseasonably misty dragon’s mouth,

    hills washed of creosote come alive, fresh and tender

    as the swollen waft of a woman’s first musk,

    or a man’s first full stubble, equally adorned, one wants

    for a well-matched dance partner

    or else hit the irons. I always said

    if deadlift day don’t give you

    first date butterflies,

    that bar ain’t heavy enough.

    Hips down. Back straight.

    Gimme tempo with my bass.

    Pull.

    Ravens Mate for Life Too

    The regional custom

    is for committed couples to form

    an altar of sorts, a cubby hole hearth

    of their unity within the home. More

    elaborate as time wears on, inside

    are two skeletons, often in wedding attire,

    candles and neon blooms, classic marigolds,

    or sometimes more goth. Tequila and baubles.

    In these parts,

    Halloween, Samhain, All Saints, Dia de Muertos, all

    rolled into one, so important we’ve got

    twelve foot skeletons, horror gore, unlucky symbols galore

    all through the year. Many

    October anniversaries. Funeral lilies, zombies,

    black Christmas trees and purple lights. Mardis Gras beads.

    It’s one aesthetic

    bikers, Mexicans, white trash, assorted immigrants,

    and bar bums all get behind. Don’t ask me why. Shit,

    our best restaurant is called Voodoo Cove. Got Maman Brigitte

    lookin’ down with her tits out. It’s tacky and peculiar, but I guess

    expired Tupperware dregs trapped in a locked car

    can still develop a culture.

    Casualties

    One early morning,

    during our usual dawn chitter,

    she texted me about her dream

    where every room in her house

    was painted bright and bold colors,

    saturated shades she’d never dare while awake,

    white light poured

    through the windows and doors.

    She forgot soon after. Some delayed awakening

    for my safekeeping. Another feather

    waiting in my wings.

    His father

    didn’t attend the service.

    Said there was no point.

    He did allow

    my black on black wooden quatrefoil frame

    glimpsing golden dandelions

    some blown away,

    painted to include

    birth and death date.

    Unobtrusive

    among the aggressively neutral color scheme, a rental,

    hospital clean. Nothing out of place. No suggestion

    of children.

    Said in his dream,

    they wept over a casket, and their son came

    to say hey,

    that isn’t me. Somehow

    took that to mean he had a second son

    …somehow, somewhere, accidentally.

    And me, well I call a spade a spade.

    Typically, puberty and early twenties

    are treacherous waters for boys

    in specific ways. This is when you most expect

    to see suicide.

    If it was a gunshot, it was his first

    true heartbreak, bereft the skirt

    of his mommy—if indeed he ever sheltered there—

    somewhere between, for example,

    Mama’s Golden Boy and Man’s Man, and the deceased

    didn’t feel seen or heard by his family,

    the pain,

    the mess,

    is the point.

    There is a second frame, identical,

    amid my general cacophony, a gallery collection,

    constellations of memories, and I think

    about all the stubborn fluffs thrust up, casting motes

    over the city’s poison laden parks, where it only takes

    one good rain

    and for staff to fall behind

    on their butchery for a couple days

    for those nutrient dense cleansers to regenerate

    from the smallest piece of their deep taproots

    and try again. Pop off. That’s strong medicine. And since

    I know a thing or two

    about what a sensitive and destructive

    boy into shonen anime would’ve thought cool,

    there is a rainbow obsidian nogitsune amulet,

    a spirit

    known for its mischief and malevolence.

    Enrichment

    My favorite cologne,

    if I’m ever bothered

    to wear something so pungent—

    I prefer the mellow intimacy of oil—

    is Obsession by Calvin Klein,

    particularly as it soaked

    an old leather armchair I slept in as a child

    when I wanted to feel held.

    Fun fact—my nephew enjoyed this—

    it is used by field scientists

    to attract big cats

    and/or repel everything else. It mimics

    mating pheromones. Those felines

    become infatuated

    with whatever you spray it on.

    Big teeth hundreds pounds rubby rubs,

    loud snuffing. Chuffs. A happy whoops

    depending on context. The zookeeper’s friend.

    For some reason it reminds me, way back,

    we were made to clean and paint

    an entire dorm complex Navajo White.

    Oh we found all kinds

    of weird shit. Walls crusted with booger flakes,

    gobs of stale jizz behind light socket plates,

    an enormous beehive in an attic, frenetic impressionist thick,

    dripping globs of insects from the ceiling, burst

    into swarming wings. Students thought

    it was haunted. Gusgus shit his pants.

    But what took the fuckin’ cake

    was this otherwise prim and nondescript room

    where we were like oh thank god this one’s normal.

    Well,

    behind the sliding, mirrored closet doors,

    in blood red

    beneath a jagged cross, a frantic block

    of scribbles. A boy’s name over and over and over,

    other smudged and smeared words, half digested sentences,

    furious regurgitation,

    I WANT HIM I WANT HIM I WANT HIM. Etc.

    Yeah. The entire surface.

    What’s worse,

    I’d fuckin’ met the guy like

    meh

    he was okay. I had his number even, but

    that’s Satan talkin’. I left that mess

    for someone else to find. Bless her soul. I offer

    an affirmation:

    if you ain’t scratchin’ Moby Dick madness

    in howl font in secret shrines,

    you’re fuckin’ fine,

    we gonna be alright.

    Solitary Creatures

    They’re endangered,

    the largest and most reserved

    big cats. Amur tigers. One step

    above critical due to conservation efforts.

    Poaching and habitat destruction, the usual.

    They require hundreds of square miles, each,

    of taiga forest in the snow-deafened subarctic

    to find prey and maintain balance.

    Without helicopters and such

    you’d go your entire life and never

    see one in person. They scarcely even find each other.

    Scientists, because the human males

    of today would never, could not fathom,

    as usual believed them to be asocial

    and ruthless. But

    upon monitoring a rare pair

    of male and female blips

    from a safe distance, they saw

    evidence of something else.

    He entered the heart of her range

    and stayed there.

    Groomed, lounged, shared kills, showed

    affection. Care.

    Then,

    her light wandered to an upper edge

    in search of a meal

    and stopped.

    His followed up and came back,

    completely still

    for three days.

    He left.

    The scientists

    found her dead.

    Stricken with dismay,

    they investigated, trying hard

    to piece together

    what went wrong. But

    there were no bite or claw marks,

    no signs

    of a struggle,

    also no indication

    of impending cubs. He hadn’t mounted her.

    Her cause

    of death had been vehicular trauma. A car.

    He had gone, expended maximum effort,

    to drag her corpse from the road,

    return it to her home, without so much

    as breaking her skin, and just lay beside her

    without food or water, a 500 pound

    apex predator. She was wholly

    unmolested, a fallen queen, where

    could they possibly have been going

    in such a hurry

    that it was worth her life.

    Like I said,

    a human male would never.

    They were so careful

    not to call it love.

    Way to a Woman’s Heart

    Make space for me in your garden,

    by your bed or bathtub, above

    a writing desk, anywhere

    deep in thought. Save a seat

    on your camping trip. Write my name

    on a seasoned log. Tend the fire.

    Suitable offerings include:

    whole roasted hazelnuts in dark chocolate,

    tiramisu or any pale vanilla dessert

    with espresso powder on top in a pinch. Almond

    croissants stuffed with almond paste.

    Cast iron anything no matter how random,

    cattle and gremlin bells, wild mica and quartz

    and odd pebbles you found on a walk, good shapes,

    bones, other such minor and inspired gifts,

    fire,

    plants.

    I like trips to petting zoos, niche museums,

    just fucking off into woods or mountains,

    have I mentioned I love hair,

    the more spirited the better, and I love

    me some Behavior,

    especially on a fanciful and skittish man,

    I’m sayin’ his OCEAN heavy on the O and N,

    and don’t worry, mama’s intense, a beast even,

    but she’s benevolent, oh I’ll gobble up

    your odd. Man do the song and dance,

    and woman decide if she like all that ruckus,

    your funny movements,

    your pretty sounds.

    I know

    there’s a good boy in there somewhere

    and I’ll find him

    if I gotta blow your back out,

    lick red wine from your mouth,

    there’s that iron,

    a prickle of salt. Papa knows

    I’m a gourmand. Share my

    crisp 100% barley malt—Singha

    pairs well

    with spicy dishes, like scalp sweat

    ears wet hot. Sichuan pepper, painted kernel

    Indian corn, cherry or apple smoke salt,

    paprika and chipotle. Long noodles.

    Garlic. Onions.

    Butter. You know what,

    food.

    January 10, 2026
    storytelling

    • About
    • Bedtime Story: East of the Sun & West of the Moon
    • Hail Merry
    • Hearth Lines
    • Paintings

    Beauty and the Beast: A Concept

    Kindled Spirits

    Well it must have been my late teens early twenties,

    and chalk it up to my subconscious doin’ her goddamn best

    to hurl a meat stuffed pumpkin in my tiger enclosure—

    you’ll’ve seen this motif before—

    smack dab in my banshee ass La Llorona phase,

    I dreamt

    the hunt for my fictitious other half, my ultimate

    imaginary friend, my Wilson,

    took me over the hills and into a twilight forest, long blue grass,

    galaxy awash above, radiant carotid, tiny flowers crest ultraviolet firefly glow

    rushing against the heady darkness, vibration black, a dense stand of wood,

    I soared and dove four legged (?) swift as the wind, bit o’ wing,

    this n’ that and the kitchen sink,

    and there he was,

    and by “he” I mean

    a border-less jumble of artful blurs and smudges,

    visible primarily through patterns of movement,

    think octopus camouflage or mirrors in space,

    frolickin’ in them woods tryna get got,

    like oh no whatever shall I do,

    I’m just a simple boy with the two legs blues,

    and of course what other reason would such a creature,

    who was clearly a Shapes like Me, or tryna be someday,

    invite this game?

    Obviously flirtatious behavior. So I said alright

    I’m a big scary monster

    and I’m gonna getcha, so you better run, love

    like to get my blood up, but once I bore him to ground

    he was all aflutter, actually scared scared, strangely

    dulled, temperature off, lost his fire somewhere.

    Not fully aware. Out there

    havin’ a completely different genre of evening.

    I waited patient but firm

    for his feeble struggles to settle, grow inquisitive,

    like oh wait this is kinda nice, oh, oh my, and took the form he found

    least menacing, whatever that meant,

    until at last he reached the same page somewhat,

    and the longer I went about my fiend business,

    all up on that muladhara we’ll call it,

    the more solid he became—

    human I guess—

    y’know I know how to put a body in a place,

    whatever plane,

    my breath over embers inside,

    Audhumla on the cosmic ice,

    tongue tip traced and fingers splayed,

    arched and rooted

    where my ministrations did indicate,

    everythin’ assembled in workin’ order, my lips

    the conductor, the significant bulk

    at my disposal

    held him down. Shapes remember. All’em. Everywhere.

    Wherever gone I met him there, currents outmaneuvered, oh

    he had to stay put, I gave him no choice, the freedom was me.

    My pretty little sleepwalker given over

    saw stars in the end.

    One with the Earth, a beloved loam. My bed.

    When I woke,

    for the briefest moment

    all was right in the world, the eye

    of my hurricane, my instincts

    all a choir like yes that’s him, that’s your man,

    and I said are you fuckin’ serious?

    Vaguely a Guy?

    Pile of Vibes in Disguise?

    Nothin’ Shape?

    Make for a Silent Hill ass milk carton, pass the salt,

    call an exorcist and a shaman rope that missing person.

    Thanks guys. Thanks. So helpful. I know for certain

    exactly one of his traits, but it’s hardly

    polite conversation.

    @~^~

    Auxiliary material for some larger projects. Hi res rendering of this key piece of my…creative thesis if you will. Pleasant dreams are few and far between for me, so this one really stood out. When I kicked off this whole journey, I’d just taken several big life swings back to back, including the abrupt termination of a ten year relationship. When you’ve gotten by sustaining yourself in every environment, none of which are your natural habitat, you don’t necessarily think much of continuing to do so while pursuing “milestones” that ordinary people have long achieved by your age. Until your body lets you know there is indeed a hard upper limit to how heavily you can mask or suppress your true nature.

    And as everyone around me assured me that I’d find the right man one day, that he just needs to be xyz, this or that way, I kept thinking to myself… wow all of those guys sound terrible. Zero connective ports or pleasing parts for the enormous love I’m capable of. It’s like no one really saw me at all, which isn’t anyone’s fault, but still. So I thought back to all the pleasant intermissions I’ve ever encountered in my dreams, and said, what if I made a man out of these? You know like that which you seek is already within sort of thing. Even if he only exists as my creation, it’s worth putting my pen to, like maybe someone else enjoys my favorite meat pumpkin too. Maaaaybe someone sees my meat pumpkin and says oh shit that’s me. Girl can dream.

    It’s like that one quote about how you don’t want to die, you just want everything in your life to change. I’ve got something in captivity that must express herself or else she chews all the furniture in the house and kills her handlers. All this to say, you gotta stay true to yourself! Especially if you’re weird.

    January 4, 2026
    Adventures in Slumberland, humor, storytellng

    • About
    • Bedtime Story: East of the Sun & West of the Moon
    • Hail Merry
    • Hearth Lines
    • Paintings

    Epilogue

    Dark Matter

    It was like clutching a permafrost coal,

    wandering empty streets several degrees below,

    wondering what it was like to live in each house,

    who would I be, if I were that girl? Lamplit rooms,

    flicker frame lifeboats, distant shores.

    Every night. For years.

    However long it took, whatever came first,

    water run out or ice numb my heart,

    fiddled a little mp3 player, but nothing

    ever sounded quite right. I was trying to find

    some collection of notes, timbre, melody,

    anything I recognized, a song so beautiful

    it allowed me to exist in this world. I could sit so still

    I’d jump scare folks in broad daylight, tread soft as snow,

    play dress up guesswork at what was expected, is this

    who belongs here? Will others catch on? The smile

    never reached my eyes,

    yet the concept of normal never crossed my mind,

    was no aspirational height. Absolutely no desire

    to be a productive member of this society,

    moved by deepest love exclusively, neither money

    nor ease nor prestige held the power to sway. Motivate.

    Insufficient mass. Boring. Tedious. I am not an easy woman

    to know.

    People expect a reaction. Bright commotion.

    That it’s only sparks leads to connection.

    You must rely on my words, my

    physicality, terroir. Enter inscrutable,

    a black cavern older than life on land, whose size

    you cannot grasp, where the slightest sound

    folds and multiplies and carries back

    as the cosmic ocean frothed with jasmine. Twig snap,

    bone break. Butterfly, hurricane. My voice

    is such a weight. I prefer to listen. Envelop.

    Perhaps in some small way, on some wayward road,

    somewhere you were hurt,

    we’ve met before.

    December 28, 2025
    storytelling

    • About
    • Bedtime Story: East of the Sun & West of the Moon
    • Hail Merry
    • Hearth Lines
    • Paintings

    Lady of Miracles 2/2

    Red Handed

    Got him Bambi twitterpated,

    ain’t know what to do with his legs,

    how to address a spirit him mama sent,

    he a boy again, licked lip, flutterin’ lash,

    and before those buttons snap I’ll ask,

    “Are you a good man?”

    Come all ye faithful, tarry the tune,

    if you can match the grace my cloven hoof,

    and the female caribou, she has antlers

    all through the winter, guards the source,

    sheds them only to see her babies born,

    tread soft little hunter, these woods

    snow laden, lichen scrabbled, deadly cold,

    belong to Her. Hold them out.

    Did any daughter suffer? Did you take

    because she would not give? Put boots

    under another woman’s bed?

    Serve your mother last?

    Do I smell disrespect?

    Say devil’s in the details, scribe away the entrails,

    mince the fuckin’ words, redefine your terms,

    make a gentleman’s agreement, sign here,

    see that X, that’s consent, we’ll hold summit,

    more peace talks. Bitch I’ll say it once,

    they write laws ’cause they mean to do wrong,

    money exists to obfuscate human cost,

    a pathetic attempt to assign worth, only a woman

    holds rank of confessor, fuck ass white man’s paper,

    papal parlor tricks, I mean pardons, Mr. Pwesident,

    must mean sewious business, I’m circumspect

    as machete’s caress on official’s cheek, shout out Brazil,

    Native women ain’t meek, shit we’ve seen,

    four in five on that DV, thousands missing,

    affected disproportionately, who we gonna call,

    the police?

    She was no Deer Woman, a fateful Sioux,

    Walks With Her Robe brought Custer low,

    donned the iron oxide of a warrior,

    mounted her black horse and rode,

    said her heart was bad, revenge! Brother dead.

    Weren’t a woman alone, three more in defense,

    one forced dismount and she stabbed his back,

    where he fell, a mother and daughter descended,

    from a peaceful village, drove sewing awls into his ears

    and an arrow shaft up his penis, said

    “We do this

    so that you will be permitted

    to hear better in the next life.”

    Old Money

    Funny how violence just a hop skip

    removed looks like destiny manifest,

    divine right of kings, take your pick,

    all that gold and silver, cash crops and timber,

    sugar, cotton, tobacco, dye, slave labor,

    everything that made Europe,

    you stole it all from us.

    Talk shit ’bout Muricans, fair but

    where the fuck these na hullos from?

    Same shit, different stall,

    shoe the other foot,

    just ten percent of us left alive, total,

    across two continents, the brink of extinction,

    Ima need that tongue seasoned, taste the salt,

    tell me ’bout the feats of your civilization,

    tout the frippery of your culture, high brow,

    your fancy school, your summer house, my bad, estate,

    some pappy’s supposed nothing, industry, legacy,

    look if you ain’t broke ass Irish or a musician

    I do not give a fuck. Bards I respect. The flame,

    true spirit, love of the land. My clan

    was Panther, for the darkest month of winter,

    warm banaha and wild game, hunter warriors

    once upon a time, don’t keep prey close quarters,

    blades up when the crops fail, taut bow,

    oh I do go for the throat,

    blood or song there, breathe fire blue hot,

    tummy rumble meat scorch, that good bark,

    best off the bone, marrow lip gloss, baby fuel

    of any kind, I go all night,

    rhythm circadian, infradian, planetary respiration,

    stars aligned, real gold passed down

    generations, strength of a matriline,

    good medicine.

    Hollow Point

    Lover below spare me this shit,

    two white man friendly debate,

    askin’ if free will really exists,

    not my not my fuckin’ circus,

    playin’ YouTube school booth Socrates,

    that arm chair circle jerk flick,

    masters of logic against anecdotal evidence,

    arrogance still an emotion bitch,

    assumin’ you exempt make you twice inept,

    had kiss on every ego boo boo consequence,

    in a world caters your whims you’re never upset,

    someone’s trauma is your fun thought experiment,

    that calm don’t make you superior, ignorant pup, but hey,

    men’s ignorance built governments, invented church,

    oooh you an atheist, big whoop, real cut above,

    no sense of magic, mystery, or wonder, it’s sewious,

    woman says walkin’ alone dangerous you ask for a source,

    your house that’s who does all the chores, gave birth,

    passed that fat head and shat on it, that’s your gut biome,

    bet she’s real proud when you fap over the horrors of war,

    crack jokes ’bout a man put his wife in a blender,

    clever buddy hyucks how you measure self worth.

    In the first four years after 9/11

    twice as many civilian women were killed

    by a current or former intimate partner

    than soldiers died in the field. That don’t count

    what our best and bravest did to women abroad,

    perhaps you’re too young to remember Never Forget,

    fuckin’ obnoxious, take your sad lil tapir snoot,

    go seepy ’cause he went achoo,

    that’s called a soft target, be cute weren’t such a prick,

    jump to give instead of inflict,

    well I go em-dash superscript specific,

    blast radius maximum tissue damage,

    one shot and it’s colostomy bag,

    ’bout as tough as a pair o’ table grapes,

    could go either way, wrinky peach in my palm

    go pop hallelujah or pop scream vomit,

    men fight ’cause they wanna jack off,

    but make no fuckin’ mistake,

    I’m here ’cause I want you

    to stop.

    Green Tip, Black Tip

    Really a lavender menace,

    I play it close to the nest,

    if I’m at all dangerous that’s just

    mama goose grim, see some little ones

    don’t even ask whose they are,

    don’t act a fool sniffin’ ’round here,

    neither forgive nor forget, try me

    and it’s on sight,

    see you ain’t smile how everyone love yo papa,

    see how low his hands go, think respect mean obey,

    how he readjust sudden seen I saw, skin crawl,

    that spider strand thrum,

    I’m never wrong,

    and I don’t talk to Jesus, don’t call the cops,

    I face myself and ask if there’s a God today,

    ’cause behind every great man

    is a fetid kill garden where his victims fell,

    the stench of excess, species invasive, unsustainable,

    it’s guilty ’til proven innocent, what he stole,

    him compass only point himself, root rot

    is fungal, mercy won’t wash it, empathy

    requires theory of mind, pacifism a conscience,

    you pay out in sufferin’ when you buy into an afterlife,

    some bullshit retirement plan, pain makes course correction,

    money don’t make a hard target, man ain’t sportin’ Level IV plate,

    son I’m a freak, drew unicorns impalin’ monsters as a girl, burst guts,

    and right now yo mama ain’t strong in her house,

    well I make house outta nothin’, make it wherever I please,

    wee hours that’s me, wing beats, come away, come away,

    and it’s never too late to reclaim, my faithworn, weak, and weary,

    you may be grown

    but you all my babies, and as for yo daddy,

    he went out with a bang.

    Sheela na Gig

    I wanna see some fine motor skills,

    vagina dentata confirmed kills,

    says he need clear signals,

    that so that so well guess what,

    inner two thirds don’t feel much, sorry son,

    you ain’t good, she hollerin’ that’s performance,

    penetration don’t define sex, fuck about your length,

    crusty ass digits don’t respect the real estate,

    wanna call it home you gotta maintain,

    arms, thighs, belly, nape, kneadin’ hips spots they ache,

    not a soul ten mile radius guessin’ at who your missus,

    you’ll know what it’s worth when you barely gotta touch her,

    amp hum, rolling fields, monsoon,

    murmurs in your neck, busy kisses on your jaw, lil bite,

    can leave the panties where they are, it’s cold outside,

    she done doubled in size, quite the catch

    teemin’ in your hand, strum a wishbone lush and fat,

    brace your wrist she buck that, puppydog startin’ understand

    the assignment,

    the rubric, woman’s joy NC-17, capacity obscene,

    weaponize a bank account ’cause you don’t measure up,

    pourin’ from an empty cup, flavor flat as your back end,

    now I seen some sexy scarecrows in my time

    but honey that’s vibes you don’t possess,

    and ode to the monster fuckers, those girls get down,

    make priests put they eyes out,

    goddamn anythin’ better than a man’s man,

    real Shape of Water shit, Adam the corpse quilt,

    fuckin’ Fallout ghouls,

    I’m sayin’ the problem’s you,

    remember them bonobos,

    cuddlebug fuck-a-thon peaceful unless,

    unless you’re an overly aggressive male,

    forgettin’ him own self, and the girls,

    they circle up different kinda pound town,

    lead by example, beat him half to death

    and chew his balls in public,

    touchin’ they ladybits and each other,

    reaffirm the bonds of civilized society,

    I said you gotta maintain,

    see there may have been a serpent in that garden,

    but darlin’ Adam was the snake, tough swallow,

    it’s not this one’s rotten aw shucks,

    one bad apple spoils the bunch.

    Well Played

    That’s one left in the chamber,

    six days work on seventh rest,

    nah that’s shots in a revolver, keep hold

    those bullet casings, can’t find me no ID,

    pray the Pleiades,

    gotta count seven sisters wanna set sail,

    keen eyed ghost of the Star Gauge,

    author Su Hui a child prodigy,

    she the best ever did it, woman poet,

    prismatic complex palindromic,

    color coded reads in every direction,

    all of it rhymes and makes sense,

    universe of loneliness contained in a single box,

    bit like Emperor Wu Zetian, not Empress,

    that’s a matter of rank, sphere of influence,

    board set for her sex required ruthlessness,

    and shit you know at this stage of evolution,

    discussion of a worthy man is purely academic,

    no matter how exceptional she is, stone brilliant,

    he’ll hurt her to feel important, well Zetian

    ruled behind the scenes long before she took her seat,

    brought fifteen years of stability and prosperity,

    one could achieve rank from any birthplace, literacy,

    promoted skill and talent over funding and family,

    the least amount of court corruption ever seen,

    she was betrayed.

    Greedy eunuchs destroyed her legacy, though not entirely,

    dashed a vision of what China could have been, and Su Hui,

    lost in the verse over some supposed love of her life,

    that fool boy cheat, left her for a concubine,

    and at the center of her stunning devastation, why, why,

    frantic at limitations imposed by form, eloquent misery,

    an empty space where Heart should be.

    December 21, 2025
    history, rap-ish, storytelling

Next Page

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • wyrdwind
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • wyrdwind
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar